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Take the “We” Out Of Your Copywriting – 51

8 February 2015 by

For years I have suffered through many sales letters and pitches addressed to me. However, all throughout those pitches, not once was I mentioned.

All they ever talk about to me is them. As a business owner, I can’t tell you how much I dislike that. All of their letters and pitches are filled with sentences that start with we — We are, we have, we will. These statements are never about me and honestly — I am only interested in hearing how you can help me.

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That is exactly how your customer feels too.

Funny enough, so are most of your customers, if not all of your customers.  They’re only interested in learning how you can help them.  They want to know things like —

  • What are you going to do for me?
  • What will you sell to me?
  • How will your product affect my life?

Here’s a little example for you.

Let’s pretend you are a mail order company and you sell clothes.  You may be tempted to say “we have the best designs” or,  “We only feature the best clothing designers, quality materials, etc”

Now — as a business owner and a product consumer, when I read that, it makes me yawn.  It’s boring.  It doesn’t matter how you word it, when you only structure the wording to tell me about YOU, it does not speak directly to me.

Now, if you reword it and instead of saying “we have the best quality materials” try saying something like this —

“You can feel like a lord in one of our suits because it is made from the highest quality materials. Your friends will envy you when you walk in the room wearing this fashionable designer suit.”

Take the We Out Of Your Copywriting

As a consumer, now you have gotten me thinking and picturing myself in this suit. I am beginning to see how this suit will make me feel more successful. Why? Because you have just tailored this sale for me and my benefit.

This is what we call features and benefits in the marketing world. Things that are talking about the quality of your product, such as the materials or the “your” side of things,  tend to be the features.

The benefits  are what it does for your customer. We all want to know what’s in it for us.

Where do you need to remove the “We”

Please take a look at your brochures, sales letters, your website, etc, and find every single sentence that starts with “we”. Look at it and see if you can change that sentence and start it with something that tailors to your customer. Start it with “you”.

Turn it around.  Convert it into a benefit, into a “how it will make them feel” benefit, even if it’s a credit control letter, do it as well.  Remember, it’s all about your brand.  Everything reflects all the way through. Everything is marketing.  This will make a difference.

Book Recommendation

Today, I’m going to help you ‘Conquer The Chaos‘ — that’s the title of the book from Clate Mask and Scott Martineau.

51- Conquer the Chaos This book is by the guys that run Infusion Soft.  Now, for those of you who do know Infusionsoft, you’re going to think “wow”.

But for those of you who don’t, it’s a marketing automation, controls less floating “we” generation, autoresponders as e-commerce. Pretty much everything you’d need as a small business owner.

But it’s quite a commitment, it’s quite involved, so not entirely necessary for all small businesses.

I personally don’t use it, but I’m sure we will get there eventually.  These guys have built a business from scratch.

They know, they’re entrepreneurs, they know about the problems with staff, the problems with promises, with marketing, with sales, with accounts, with all of it.

It’s chaos, as they describe it, and they show you how to battle through.  How to organize, how to be more efficient, how to outsource, how to conquer the chaos.

A very, very worthwhile read.  And it does not try to sell you Infusionsoft all the way through.  Because that wouldn’t be fun, so please go and check this book out.

Get it on Amazon, get it from book depository, listen to it on Audible, — you’ve go no excuse, really.  You can listen to it on the way home, on the way to work, while you’re doing the cooking — anywhere.  You can even listen to it just before you nod off to bed.

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Read books. It’s how we learn something new. It gives us knowledge, so go read something tonight and email me and let me know how that went for you.

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